Revisiting Ketamine (after 5 years)

Ketamine is a familiar friendly face, though a lot has changed in my life since my first ketamine journey, which was about 5 years ago. I've decided to return to the medicine while smack dab in the middle of my last semester of school and on the heels of devastating election results. I wanted to share the different facets of my journeys with ketamine assisted therapy from beginning to end. 

Choosing a day to journey and preparing beforehand is important. I specifically chose the day before my standing psychotherapy appointment to make sure I am integrating my journey as best as possible. In the days leading up to my journey, I had a very enlightening and fascinating conversation with a psychedelic therapist who shared with me the research, the reported experiences, and the neurological and mental health risks and benefits that are reported in the scientific literature. In the mainstream conversation on ketamine, whether jokingly or not, ketamine is seen as a single use as a horse tranquilizer used as a “party drug”. This is unfortunate, as this sort of sensationalism overshadows just how much research there is on this medicine, and how helpful it can be for so many people.

My journey day was an all-around good day! I had minimal stress from the day, it was the last day of my work week and I was looking forward to the journey, my first one in a while. I was approaching this journey as I would with any other psychedelic journey, making sure I was in a good headspace and mentally ready to receive whatever it was the medicine was able to offer. In the hour leading up to my journey, I ensured my bedroom was set up and comfortable. I had candles lit, comfy blankets, extra plants, soft lighting - it was lovely. Taking the time and effort to tend to the setting of my medicine journey felt as important as tending to my mental headspace.

The scene and space was set! I continued through my pre-journey checklist, including checking in with my sober sitter for this journey (he continued to check on me every 20 minutes to ensure I was okay). It was finally time to self-administered my medicine, and settle in for a good hour long (or so) meditation.

While waiting for the medicine onset, I reflected on my intentions for my journey and started scribbling and drawing in my journal. I wanted to address some of the feelings I had been experiencing over the last couple of years since my very first journey. I felt stuck, not present, encased in the sense that work was my identity, and unhappy with my home city. While identifying those thoughts and feelings I also reminded myself to remain open to new possibilities and experiences, focus on healing, and examine my life for what I wanted to change in order to move forward. A quote from my journal reads "change isn't easy but it has to be done".

My journey reacquainted me with ketamine, and was beautiful, stabilizing, and relieving. Removing myself from the noise of the world and external stressors, I was able to relax and enjoy a full empathogenic experience.* It ran the gamut from dreamy colorful visuals to peace, warmth, and empathy. Below I have shared my experience as it was documented in my Integration Questionnaire.

Having this re-acquaintance with ketamine has been a wonderful experience. I am really appreciative of the medicine, its abilities, and the multifaceted experience that comes along with it. I look forward to this upcoming set of journeys I will be taking as I explore my experience of ketamine and work on my mental health.

*for more on ketamine psychedelic journey types, check out Kolp, 2014

https://digitalcommons.ciis.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1023&context=ijts-transpersonalstudies